Lizzard Loves thinking the big thoughts.
Parenting a baby makes it hard to think the big thoughts very often, so I guess that's the theme of this week!
1. Came across this post today, a good read for partnered parents of little people. It resonated and made me feel not alone in all these feels I've been feeling lately. These are good things that make me happy.
2. A friend from my moms group invited me to go to a talk last night titled "Enough as she is: how to help girls move beyond impossible standards of success to live healthy, happy, and fulfilling lives" by the author Rachel Simmons. I so enjoyed spending adult time with my friend, the speaker was engaging, hilarious & fun but also touched on themes that I needed to hear as a grown up (that will hopefully also influence how I parent the bug). Its worth checking her out on Facebook or reading one of her books - lots of interesting information & helpful steps for raising a daughter in a world that tells her she's never enough. But frankly, I often have the feelings of "never enough" - it was really reassuring to know that I'm not alone in those feelings - that the are in fact, pervasive in American culture. See what I'm saying about thinking the big thoughts?? Another theme that the speaker touched on was helping our girls find their purpose. I aim to do that with the bug, but what about my purpose? Not sure I know what mine is, but it bears some reflection, no?? Again - the big thoughts are getting thunk ;)
3. At the talk last night, the speaker showed this cartoon by Gemma Correll. Its hilarious.
This woman's cartoons are hilarious. She is worth a follow on Instagram, when her cartoons pop up in your feed, they will make you giggle! Maybe laugh so hard you snort. I hope so, for your sake!
4. So this is long winded, but I love that the talk last night made me admit a white lie I told to Chris (& my Mom & sister- sorry guys), I lied about what I was doing when, moments after this photo
was taken, my lucky little lady not only pooped in the tub, but put said poop in her MOUTH. Fuck.My.Life. So why didn't I prevent this from happening?? The story I told the 3 people I trusted enough to tell was that I turned around to get a towel. Lie. I was texting while parenting. I was too ashamed to admit that I was tied up on my phone while one of the loves of my life was ingesting her own poop. There's a lot to feel bad about in this scenario- but I felt doubly bad because for Lent I've resolved to keep my phone out of my hands/pocket/face while Lulu is awake. I want to focus on her & not teach her that my phone is more important than she is. Its one thing if I'm making phone calls, but in reality, the time I spend on my phone is often spent mindlessly scrolling through my social media feeds. Insanity. Why waste the minutes I have of awake Lulu time on inane shit? Hence the Lenten promise. I clearly fell off the wagon & had my phone with me in the bathroom before "the incident" happened. I was horrified at the consequences of my phone use, called her doctor to make sure she wasn't going to die, and then lied to 3 of the most important people in my life about it. THE COVER UP IS ALWAYS WORSE THAN THE CRIME!! In my case, not crime, but mistake. Still. This is all a long way of tying back to the talk I went to last night, where one theme that was touched on many times was self compassion. I'd read some about it, heard some about it, but had fallen off of the wagon on self compassion too. I'm back on it. Its important to know that I will make mistakes & I do not have license to beat myself up over them. Soooooooooo, the poop in the tub & in the mouth did not make me happy, though now that Lulu is clearly fine & not infected with something terrible- I can, and have, laughed about it. Because, well, poop. The learning something & applying it immediately made me feel so relieved. It felt so good to admit to Chris that I had told me a lie. I don't want to lie to him, or anyone really. So coming clean was a good thing indeed.
5. Spring is coming. If slowly, but coming! The snowdrops are out in full effect in our neighborhood (even a few in our yard!) and other plants are forcing their way up through the freezing ground to delight me with their spring green! This time of year in the Chicagoland area is dreary. Oftentimes rainy with temperatures in the 30s and 40s, "Spring" if you can even call it that, its my least favorite season. Cold dampness seeps into your bones and sucks your energy. But, (a VERY important but) there are these bits of beauty that promise good things to come. There will be flowers, there will be warmth, the sun will shine for days on end. Spring is a time of hopefulness for what lies ahead and these snowdrops always help me remember that.
6. This sunrise.
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